At the sole of my consumer manipulation

I don't know if this is as insidious as I'm thinking, but I think I'm thinking right.

I wouldn't put this complete distraction past retailers as utter boots manipulation. And I'm slowly giving in, putting the boots in my shopping cart and then, realizing my insanity, yanking them out and chastising myself by repeating the ridiculous price point over and over again.

The boots. The BOOTS! They're everywhere. And I want them. But the ones I want are upwards of $200 in nearly every shop and website I've been to. 

You probably know what ones I'm talking about already. You want them, too. They're real leather brown calf-high riding boots. (Because I have athletic calves - they're of the wide-calf variety. So special attention that they'll actually zip up must be paid - and often paid, unfortunately, in dollars and extra leather cents.)

And look at you, my reader friend, you are already thinking of the boots you have or the ones you want. Or, if you're looking out the window, you're beginning to feel something is missing in the outfit you're wearing as the 15 women on the street walking by are wearing brown in various states of brown bootness, sporting buckles and bows and ties and clamps of varying intensity based on their style preference. Or, in most cases, they're wearing whatever is available in the store that won't set you back an arm and a leg -- that would, figuratively if literally taken, make the boots useless. Apparently, after looking at that last sentence, I've been thinking about this too much.

I'm strong in my no-boots policy. And in my no-trench coat policy. I been pining for a specific trench coat that's just not in my budget right now, but the self-convincing isn't working so well these days as I confuse L.L. Bean by being the most indecisive customer ever, going through almost all the steps of online purchasing, but stopping just short of the submit order button.

Why do I care so much about this stuff? About quality clothing and getting the particular brand I want?

I have partially been brainwashed by companies and my environment. I live in New York City where everyone dresses like they have Edith Head and Louis Vuitton making out in their micro-closet in Fort Greene. It's easy to feel daunted here by the lushness of the fashion.

But I realize my boots and trench coat are staples. They're not the flirty blouse of the moment. These would seriously have some staying power in my wardrobe. Or so I think. I sometimes buy so-called staple items and often get sick of them after a few years. But I never pay as much as I would pay for these items and would likely keep them around and wear them just because I invested in them. 

Right now, I have a trench coat that I bought for $3 at a thrift store in Pennsylvania. It's a badge of honor to wear such thrift store finds, but it's thin and I want something that I can wear into the colder months ahead. I also want boots that really fit and I don't have to think about when I'm getting dressed. Just kind of like, "OK, brown boots. That'll be great with jeans." 

These days I hate thinking about clothes and putting in the time to dress like a put-together human being. I want to just be put-together.

The boots are torturing me with promises of brown neutrality, and the trench coat with the illusive wool lining wrapping me up in promises of warm mornings and crisp fall air.

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Since writing the above, I have remembered that I purchased a pair of black boots that will be both neutral and amazing. And I've lost some leg since I purchased them, so they don't pinch as much when I'm zipping them up. As for the trench coat, I'm still, daily, visiting the site and checking out the coat. I need more hobbies.